Fuck you, Windows 10 Action Center notifications
I hate notifications. So you can imagine what I think of Windows notifications like these:
These notifications are called "Windows 10 Action Center notifications". That's because they only occur on Windows 10 and you read them in the Action Centre (it's a message inbox you can bring up by pressing Windows key + A).
What do these notifications say exactly? Well, sometimes the notifications say there's nothing wrong with my computer:
When this happens, I shake my head in disbelief. Why bothering telling me that Windows Defender has found nothing? Is it really that important for me to know?
Windows is basically informing me that there's no news. So it's not a notification; it's an anti-notification.
Other times, the notification says, "We found one or more settings that might affect battery life."
Okay, so what are these settings? It turns out it's that Windows sleep mode is set to "Never":
I know it's set to Never because it was me who set it to Never in the first place. And now Windows is nagging me to switch sleep mode back on. Oh, fuck off Microsoft you nagging nanny bitch. It's my computer and I'll do what I want with it.
Sometimes there's even a notification telling me to turn my screen brightness down.
Jesus Christ, Microsoft! Sometimes it's sunny and I need to brighten my screen to compensate. Is that really such a crime?
The situation is a lot like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Windows is the annoying boy and I'm the exasperated villager. "Wolf! Wolf!" Windows cries. I go running to see what's going on, but it turns out nothing's going on and Windows is just being an annoying, attention-seeking bastard. And I'm so sick of these pointless notifications that I want to disable them all indiscriminately. That means if a virus (i.e. a wolf) comes along and infects my computer then I won't know about it because I'll have disabled Window's notifications. But fuck it, because I think it's a price worth paying.
How to disable Action Center notifications
There are two things you can do to disable these notifications. First, try disabling "Windows Defender notification icons" in the Startup tab of Task Manager:
The second thing you can do is turn off "Get notifications from apps and other senders" in Notification & actions.
Battery notifications
Even after doing the two solutions above, I was still getting notifications about my battery. I scrolled down in Notification & actions and saw this:
That looks like the button to disable battery notifications - but the fucking button was greyed-out!
I solved this problem by turning on "Get notifications from apps and other senders". Then the asshole Battery Saver button became available again:
And then I could disable it. Good fucking riddance.
Conclusion
I've finally turned off all notifications, but I'll always be on edge in case the notification box ever comes back.
Update: One year later
A year after writing this post, I said the final "fuck you" to Microsoft and moved over to Linux instead. I will no longer have to see another Windows notification ever again. Good riddance.
On the whole, I'm happier with Linux than Windows. While Linux isn't without its own share of problems, at least it's less annoying than Windows is.
If you want to switch to Linux too, then I recommend getting the 13.3-Inch Star LabTop. It comes pre-installed with the latest version of Ubuntu, which is the most popular Linux operating system. It's the perfect way to say "fuck you" to Windows.
Comments
2024-07-12 Damien
I'm thinking of "going full" Linux as well as opposed to staying full retarded... But unfortunately some work functions mandate the use of this piece of shit malware called Windows.
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2023-10-27 Damion
Cunting fucking windows, eat a bag of 12 inch dildos you fucking ghouls. What the actual fucking fuck. So pissed at this fucking asshatery. Thanks for this, Paul.
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2024-07-12 Damien
My brother, I feel you.
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2023-08-24 Marilyn
It is 2023....and all I typed in the google search was; Why doesn't Microsoft copy all the files it needs to install? LMAO.....Great answer Paul .
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2021-03-25 DeeAnna
my shit is still popping up and there is nothing, and everything all notification action centers, yes that one too, all are disabled and then i re disabled them and the blank empty asshole page oon the right with nothing in it and nothing to even ffffnotify, pops out!! ewe assholes
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2017-10-06
Thank you, Paul!
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2017-10-16
Thanks for posting this.
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2017-10-22 Thank you
Thank you so much - Fuck off, Windows 10 ACN indeed!
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2017-11-08 SLACKA
FUCK THESE NOTIFICATIONS! THEY BLOCK TE TASKBAR AND ANNOY THE SHIT!!
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2017-11-26 Xina
Thank you & fuck off MSW 10!
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2017-12-17
Thank you for your post. I was just about to hit one of this notifications with my fist. Fuck off MS.
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2017-12-21 Jay popper
Microsoft is a god damn worthless company, they are unimaginative, they take control of my computer without my consent and I loose hours of work because their motherfucking updates. What happened to all those brilliant fucked up lawyers who sue a small business to make them go bankrupt but suing Microsoft hurts their balls.
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2018-01-04 David
Thank you for answering a question Microsoft Support couldn't/wouldn't answer. Fuckers.
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2018-02-02 Michael Papademetriou
As all above, i agree with their 'wishes' to MS. Too many brutal and unneeded modifications added and some nice and needed functions are disappeared. [by Michael Pap -Computers' system analyst and Applications' designer.]
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2018-02-16
I was getting the rage with these notifications. I bet you can't imagine what i typed in to the search engine to get this very helpful thread to come up first! Thanks Paul
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2019-03-29 hemi
i hear ya and i just finsh googling "turn off app notifications win 10 fuck sake" yours was the first result, u get so sick of this shit sumtimes.. and im not a big swearer either.. it can b exasperating....(sigh) cheers mate.
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2018-04-05 bob
FUCK YOU MI¢RO$OFT!
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2018-04-25 Jan
I thought it was me!!! Thank you , this is the only article that explains this mess! Windows 10 is so poorly designed I just can't believe they put this out and the fact that it hasn't been fixed yet! My Windows 7 laptop finally died, (after they tried pushing this 10 crap on me in a update) and this new Windows 10 has me livid at the stupidity of MS. And could they make the damn notification box any bigger!?! I'm chatting on Facebook, and the damn thing keeps popping up and covering up my chat box!!! I think they hired some poor 6th graders to design this monstrous piece of junk. Now they are foist it upon all of us. This will be my last pc if this keeps up. Big chunky blocks they call tiles, it's ugly. Takes me two clicks to do what I used to do with one. Everything but fonts are BIG! Can you explain "This Computer" ???
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2018-06-11 Ugggggh
I'm a little surprised there isn't a notification that tells me every day that I'm using Windows, and I have a computer.
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2018-07-09
corporate fucking giant has action center for one purpose only - to be someething you see so it can be used converted for whatever they want to sell you next - this is corporate fucking greed practiced by fucking microsoft
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2018-07-09 screw micrsoft
microsoft does this because they are warming up a window for some other purpose they are relenetessless in their greed
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2018-07-24 Slayer
As everyone else has said... DITTO! This action center is fucking garbage and extremely obtrusive! I have a way to actually remove it which requires patience and knowledge, but it seems to cause a select few things to not function after the fact like the Windows Shit Store and FBackup. I can live without these things very easily compared to what this POS of a component in this OS does!
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2019-01-18 Johannes Bols
1. I agree with everything written here. 2. A friend advised me to always restart twice after an update as it can prevent the nagging fuckery of slowness the fucking piece of shit software known as microfuckingsoft as fucking raped your life with. 3. Have you noticed if there's anything bothering you about anything that microsoft intruding on your computer time telling you they have an update [my fucking computer is available 18 hours a day for their fucking updates. But that's not enough] can turn a little bother into homicidal ideation? The thing is, my Mac was far worse than this fuckery. I hate it; I fucking hate it.
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2019-01-29 Hasse L
Ok, its a year later but i can only agree with the above, wtf?! Lol i got so angry i ended my search "what's the sudden Bing-thing on startscreen" with a "fuck", and this came up :) I trusted MS before but heck, they seem to fuck up everything they touch or had GREAT things like MSN then took it away and gave us the "live"shit, the e-mail layout is getting worse and worse, their fukken accounts they force to disturb every-fukken-where including the synch-fukken-shit-fuck! Skype... And Windows 10 is so fukken unlogic and spread out functions to places they dont belong or used to belong. Then the layout made by drunk preschoolers, BIG and clumpsy with cellphone childish icons... Is it a kids phone or a computer? Anyway, suddenly i have a Bing-thing on my startscreen before getting to desktop (it came yesterday and is like shadowed) and as im fine with google i dont want that clocksucker or the big fraud "yahoo" to come close to my pc, so is this something they forced onto all of us or am i "special"?
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2019-08-13 debra roland
I still cannot stop those fucking messages. But I despise windows 10. If you liked windows 7, download "classic shell" and install it. It makes the damn huge cell phone shit go away and makes it like 7. I absolutely HATE that I cannot turn off updates. It just does it when it wants and takes forever. Microsoft can go to hell. Wish I could afford a mac.
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2019-03-25 MMM
I hear ya. I feel ya. I agree with ya. Bless us all since we are stuck with this piece of shit MS. Alternative is to see "sad mac face" or "your computer started reloading all of its crap from internet" since "mac is mac". FFS. It's 2019 and thing are like we are in the age of babies. Tell you how to think what to focus on and on what to spend time. Fuck 'em all. God bless this blog (although I am atheist).
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2020-01-18 Abir Khokharq
Windows 10 made Satan go to Church, it is not surprising it made you remember God. "There are no atheists on Windows 10, there may be some on foxholes, but not on this sh*t hole" -Some old wise man
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2019-03-27 Scoox
I used to think my girlfriend was needy... until I met Cortana and the Action Centre.
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2019-05-21
Crucifixion is too kind of a punishment for this shit
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2019-06-16 Suzy Creamcheese
Just installed the new Windows Features update, being trying to avoid it but it just sits there pissing you off till you install the shit. Did it when I went to bed and it took fucking ages, next day I started up my PC to find a new style internet icon telling me that there are no networks available - Cunts! Once I got back on the internet I found that my Sky Now TV no longer works, and wont even let me sign in on Microsoft Fucking Edge! (It still works fine on other browsers) That's right, Microsoft even managed to fuck up there own browser with there own features update! Plus now when I start my PC I get a welcome screen telling me I have new features, that you have to find in settings to disable or it keeps coming back every fucking time! Microsoft - Fuck Off!
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2019-06-16 Suzy Creamcheese
I've just realized that I used the wrong fucking word for "Their" I typed "There" Fuck! It's Microsoft, they fuck your head up - Bastards!
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2019-07-02 DontHoldMyHand
So... I just want to say thank you to pretty much everyone on this thread. Thank you, and you're amazing. MS makes me want to literally puke in my own mouth so I can get rid of the MS taste. All I ever want to do is USE my computer - not marry it, not listen to it tell me about its day, and certainly not spend all my time reading popups and warnings and notices about MS thinks I'm too stupid to already know. When are they going to release a version of Windows called "PeopleWhoDon'tNeedTheirHandsHeld"?
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2019-07-25 wtf
Everyone in the comments nailed it: to get this extremely useful blog page I had to end the search with "wtf". Nadella must be brought to justice for all the torture he subjected Windows users to. I hope he gets cancer and hist kids overdose. The scumbag makes me long for Gates.
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2019-08-09 Chriss
Windows 10 is filled with features that only hinder productivity. Great Article
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2019-08-24
Thank you Paul for the quick tutorial and the rant! I share your exact frustration. In addition to turning all the bullshit notifications off, I decided that leaving feedback to microsoft was finally warranted! It could be the first time in 30 years of using a PC that I actually wanted to leave feedback.... it pissed me off that bad.
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2019-11-04 Karl Stephen
You made may day, thank you ! I hate Win 10 so much. Win 10 puts people in the same bag : - old needy dumbass blind granny user that knows nothing else than watching videos and login in mailbox. Gazillion popups and tips for every NON REQUIRED UTTERLY OBSTRUSIVE "guess what you can do today..." I just wanted to play a casual RTS game and you pop me 5 bullshit about streaming my play, go in game mode or join a gamer lounge ? FUCK YOU AND YOUR UGLY FLAT FACE WIN 10 ! I miss WinXP and 98 so much, the old days when your computer was yours and no onelse had the same screen.
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2019-11-07 me
Not to mention the forced slow-assed "updates" that are cover for datamining. Their tagline should be "Windows 10 and office 365 - making you our suckered unpaid datamining flunkie all year round!". Question for you on ad popups that have suddenly come up as part of my W10 calendar (must have somehow unwittingly 'subscribed' to them since they just started). Any idea how to get rid of those? I want to get appointment reminders (from calendar appts I have inputted) but right above them when they come up, ms uses the opportunity to give me useless info (eg, 'here's what you missed from google photos' or ... some add from a web search i did recently etc...)
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2020-01-30
Bruh THANK YOU I'm tired of microsoft assuming I can't find my own ass with both hands and a mirror.
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2020-04-18
What the fuck is this?
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2020-04-18
Hey you guys are cool. Should I sign up.
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