The shit blog of Paul Chris Jones

My sister, in the UK, has a parcel she wants to send to me, in Spain.

We decided to use a shipping company called Hermes given that it's the cheapest company.

There are a lot of one-star reviews for Hermes, and their average score on reviews.io is 1.09 out of 5. But I figured I would give them a chance.

The pick-up

So the Hermes guy came to my sister's house today to pick up the parcel. But instead of knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell, he put a "Sorry I missed you" note through her letterbox instead. My sister says:

I heard the dog barking next door and when I went in the porch there was a receipt saying I missed him.

Putting aside fact that he didn't even knock the door before posting this slip, can I also point out that:

• He didn't fill the slip in
• The slip is for a missed delivery, not a missed collection

All these should have been warning signs for my sister about how bad this company was. But she wasn't about to let him go so easily. She says:

I had to chase him down the road in my slippers.

The problems didn't end there. Once she caught up with him, she gave him the parcel. However, when he tried to scan the parcel with his handheld scanner, the parcel wasn't recognised.

The machine reader said the barcode isn’t recognised. He has been trying for over 10 mins and now gave it me back.

My sister added:

He said you have to get in touch with Hermes x

Email from Hermes

A few minutes after the botched collection, Hermes sent me an email that says they tried to deliver my parcel.

Let me get this straight. They tried to deliver my parcel, to Spain, only a few moments after the driver handed back the parcel to my sister, in England? This is what they're saying.

I'm 99% sure the email is supposed to say they failed to collect my parcel today. But it doesn't say this because they've sent me the wrong email.

Getting in touch with Hermes

So I tried to contact Hermes.

On their website is a chatbox. I starting using it and a bot asked me to enter a tracking number.

I entered the tracking number from my email but the bot went silent. There was no reply, neither to tell me whether I entered a correct number or to even confirm that I had entered a number at all.

I typed "I think your bot is broken", and the bot immediately asked me if I wanted to track another parcel. I wasn't sure what to answer at this point. I wasn't even trying to track a parcel. I just wanted to speak to a human.

I tried in vain to get the bot to put me through to a person, but it kept asking me for a tracking number. Without a tracking number, it seems, the bot had no interest in helping me.

The irony was that I had a tracking number, but the bot did not recognise it.

Getting a refund

Luckily I'm paid with PayPal so I should be able to get my 15 pounds.

This is what I sent to PayPal:

Hermes were supposed to pick up a parcel from my sister's house today. The man came today but his machine reader said the barcode wasn't recognised. He was trying for over 10 mins and then he gave the parcel back. He said I had to get in touch with Hermes.

I tried to get in touch with Hermes but the website won't let me talk to a human being. It keeps asking me for a tracking number. I have entered my tracking number and the site doesn't recognise it.

Given the failures so far, I do not feel comfortable continuing my shipment with Hermes and so I would like my money back.

I'll update this page with the outcome.