So I go to the post office to post something I've sold on eBay. It's the size of a letter, except it's pretty thick - 3.5 inches to be precise. At first the cashier puts in the price as $1.10. I'm staggered and quietly pleased at how cheap it is. But then out comes her measuring tape. She briskly takes the measurements of my packet as if she's planning on making a bespoke suit for it. Without batting an eyelid, she says the price is $16.34. WHAT THE FUCK.

What I should have said at this point was, "Why is it so expensive?" At least then I could have tried to repackage it to make it cheaper. Instead I just sulkily paid. Cashiers are like my kryptonite. Once I start the process of buying something with a cashier, that's it baby, there's no going back. There's no diverting from the social script. If I did stop to complain, probably the pit of Tarturus would open up, everyone would laugh at me and then my trousers would fall down.

It doesn't really matter what was in the packet (randomly, it was parts of the board game Mouse Trap).  I had sold the contents for $19. After eBay takes their share, I'm left with essentially zero profit.

So what happened? It feels like something went terribly wrong. After researching for an half an hour on the internet, I found that the maximum dimensions for sending a letter are 38cm x 27cm x 2cm. My packet was 23cm x 17cm x 3.5cm. This means that my packet was 1.5cm too tall to be a letter. It was therefore a "parcel" and was more expensive to post.

FUCKING TEN TIMES MORE EXPENSIVE!

If it had been a letter, it would have cost just $1.54 to post! Instead the whole thing was unprofitable and entirely pointless.