Dear Diary. 0-year-old is sick. He has a fever. Girlfriend is giving him Calpol whatever the Spanish equivalent is.

Today I spent the whole day entertaining 4-year-old. I had no time to do any kind of work. It's been one of those days which is entirely spent looking after the two kids. But I feel less angry about it than I used to. I read in a book - a self-help book at the Birmingham Airport in WHSmith’s - that you have to take responsibility for your actions and not blame other people. So that means I can't blame 4-year-old or 0-year-old or Girlfriend, I can only blame myself for my lack of time.

After lunch, I took 4-year-old to buy some Pokemon cards. It should take no less than 15 minutes, there and back; that's how long it would take me. Of course, with 4-year-old, it's a lot slower because he likes to stop to complain. In the end, I had to carry him, his scooter and his umbrella which he took even though it wasn't raining.

Now it's 9:20 pm and we've put 4-year-old to bed but the parenting tasks still don't end. 4-year-old is still awake and he's calling us from his bedroom. 0-year-old is awake as well, he's crying in his cot. I had to pick 0-year-old up to comfort him. This is all my own fault for having kids really, I shouldn't have had them. I could have been rich by now by just staying childless. At the moment, being a parent it's like having a full-time job or possibly even two or even three full-time jobs. Three full-time jobs back-to-back. Parenting 24 hours a day as Girlfriend and I are at the moment. I could be sitting on a small island off the mainland of Hawaii, sipping on pina colada and having my dick sucked by a girl in a coconut bra. Instead, I'm stuck looking after two kids. But some good news is that today, three of the parents of kids in 4-year-old’s class commented on my hair. They said that it's grown a lot. Also, one of 4-year-old’s friends, a five-year-old girl looked shocked at my hair and said "Wow, it's long!"

I took a picture of my hair just now. It looks pretty bad actually at least from the top. It looks bad because there's not enough hair still, you can see bald patches. So if my hair looks good now then it must have looked awful before. And in fact, I'm looking at old photos and it did.

4-year-old hasn't gone back to school yet, he goes back on Monday. I need to find time to work. If I work hard enough, maybe I can become a millionaire by the time I'm 39 and then I'll enjoy a year of pure bliss and happiness with my money and youth before I turn 40. Then it all comes crashing down as I'll be 40, which is old, but at least I'd have the memories of that one amazing year. But at this rate, it's not going to happen. I'll still be poor by the time I'm fucking 100.