Dear Diary. Every hot guy is accompanied by an equally hot girlfriend. It's so unfair. Just because I'm ugly shouldn't mean I can't have a hot girlfriend too. And I'm even not ugly. It's just that I put no effort into my appearance for my entire life. It’s only in the past year that I've been making an effort.

I spoke to one of the hot gym instructors yesterday, Zaida, just making small talk. I wondered if she'd notice my increase in muscle mass and my hair but no, she just seemed to come across as a boring weirdo still. Maybe it's because I don't have much muscle mass or hair still. When I was talking to her, she just seemed bored like she was talking to me because she had to because I'm a client of the gym, just being polite to me. No way at all was she attracted to me. Then again, she is a 10/10 while I'm a two probably.

Last week I went to an ultra-secret Duplo meet-up. I met up with someone on the internet and bought some Duplo from them. Most people will buy drugs I think, but I'm buying a Lego Duplo toy for two- to five-year-olds. I sneak it into the house because Girlfriend doesn't like me buying more Duplo, she says we have enough. Anyway, the next day she found out because suddenly 4-year-old and I were playing with Duplo that we didn't have before. So I had to admit to her that I went on a secret Duplo run to get some more bricks. I have to get my bricks fix. I have my eye on this advert online like a Facebook marketplace, an advert for a big tub of Duplo for €150. It's a lot of money, but the seller claims it's worth €800 new. If that's true then €150 is a bloody bargain so I have to try to meet up with this person as soon as possible. And of course, do it in secret so Girlfriend doesn't find out.