Dear Diary. Today was Sunday, another complete unproductive day. I spent the day with my family. I don't know if you enjoy that sort of thing. I don't

I showed 4-year-old this trick where you can throw the calendar at the fridge and the calendar will stick to the fridge because of the calendar has a magnet attached to it. But when 4-year-old tried, the calendar just bounced off the fridge, and also took down all the fridge magnets that are on the fridge. Lots and lots of letter magnets and they all fell clattering to the floor. He tried again like ten more times and each time more fridge magnets fell off. It turns out the magnet in the calendar had fallen off so there wasn't even a magnet in the calendar so it wouldn't stick. The calendar magnet had somehow got stuck to the bottom of the fridge, I had to pry it off with a knife. After getting the magnet off, I was just lying on the floor exhausted. I only got like five hours sleep last night. I started pretending I was a baby and all I would say is "mama". 4-year-old thought it was fun. So I was lying there and 4-year-old jumped on top of me. I could feel a magnet under my back which started to hurt. Eventually, I pulled it out.

Later Girlfriend looked at my back and she was shocked. There was a letter 'K' imprinted onto my back. It looked as if I'd been branded by a K-shaped cattle iron. It was all red and you could see the K clearly.