Sometimes (very rarely) I have good ideas. One good idea I had recently was to buy some fake tattoos.

Here they are in descending order of quality (Good ones are at the top, crap ones at the bottom.)

Tribal wrist tattoo

Girlfriend says this one's good. So it must be good because Girlfriend normally hates tattoos.

Neck scorpion tattoo

Girlfriend doesn't like this one. She says it makes me look like a gangster. What's bad about looking like a gangster though? Gangsters scare and intimidate people, both of which I'd enjoy. I'd especially enjoying scaring that man outside the newsagents who tries to sign me for donations to Red Cross.

Wolf upper arm tattoo

I showed it to my brother and he says it looks terrible.

Head tattoo

Not a good idea.