Dear Diary. I've bought an electric scooter. It cost me €300. The only thing is you need to wear a helmet to ride it and I don't have one, so I can't ride yet.

Girlfriend says here's a shop just down the road that sells sports stuff. I'm looking for it right now, as I write this. But she's sent me on a wild goose chase because I can't find it. I mean, the street I'm walking down, I know it pretty well and I've never seen a sports shop before.

Oh wait - there it is.

Okay, so I just went in. They don't sell bike helmets; they do sell skiing helmets which is a bit weird considering that the ski slopes are a three-hour drive away. If I had a shop that sold helmets, I'd sell bike helmets, not ski helmets. I mean, there's even a bike lane right outside the shop. Oh well.

I feel tired today. I feel tired every day, to be honest. It's raining now and the cold rain on my face it feels nice, it’s waking me up. I don't understand why people don't like rain. I'm like the bald guy in Lost, Locke, in the scene where it's raining, and while the other survivors are huddled under the wing of the wrecked plane, he's sat out on the beach, his hands turned up to the sky and a smile on his face. Locke likes the rain and so do I. But as I recall, Locke was eventually strangled to death and then impersonated by a Smoke Monster. I hope that doesn't happen to me.

After lunch, I start going to a shop called Decathlon. Girlfriend says if I want a bike helmet, the best place to go is Decathlon. But it's half an hour's walk from Girona city centre.

I'm walking there now and my feet are hurting. I thought buying an electric scooter was supposed to reduce the amount of time that I walk, not bloody increase it. It’s two miles there and two miles back, a total of four miles. I haven't walked this far in years.

By the way, yesterday, I finished a book called Rebel Without a Crew by Robert Rodriguez. It's really good. He talks about how he made a feature-length film on a budget of $7,000. He talks about the ways you can do things cheaply and quickly. It's inspiring, actually, not just for making films but for life in general. It shows you how much you can achieve if you work hard, be resourceful and be creative. And most importantly get lots of practice which is hard nowadays because no one has free time anymore. I wonder if that's why so much stuff is shit nowadays.

Robert Rodriguez has made a film called “The Movie You'll Never See”. It's going to be released in the year 2115. That's not a joke. It's a real film and it'll be released in 2115. It's got John Malkovich in it. And of course, we'll never see it because we'll all be dead. It's a bit depressing.

They say a society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they know they shall never sit. I wonder if that applies to films as well. I'll never know because I'll be dead by the time this film comes out.

Imagine waiting at the cinema to see this film, and you wait there your entire life, and when it finally comes out, you drop dead from old age. Imagine that.

I've reached the store. They have a few different helmets. I'm picking the helmet that made me look least like a twat. It’s the most expensive helmet but I'm happy to pay an extra €15 to look a bit like Tony Hawk instead of Mark Zuckerberg.

Now I've got to get a bike lock. But what lock do you get for an electric scooter? I don't know because I've never had to buy a lock for a scooter before. So I just get a U-shaped block, a small one.

Then I walked around for 10 minutes trying to find a black long-sleeved t-shirt for 4-year-old. I found a white long-sleeve t-shirt. But it's not black. 4-year-old needs a black one for something at his school where all kids have to dress up as butterflies. You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a black T-shirt. Seems it can't be done.

Girlfriend texts me and said she can find one online. So at least I don't have to look for bastard t-shirts anymore.