Dear Diary. I'm walking home after going rock climbing and I forgot how much I love autumn. The rustle of dry leaves blowing in the wind. The dark evenings. The fat bald, shabbily dressed man getting into his car.

A dog just came over to me. His owner was shouting at him to come back but I don't think the dog speaks Spanish because the dog ignored him.

I'm scared of dogs but I'm able to deal with them, thanks to my nan. You see, when I was a kid, every so often we'd go over to my nan's house to visit her. She lived on a council estate and she always had one or two mad dogs living with her. These dogs would start barking at you as soon as you knocked on the door. You could hear them barking themselves into a frenzy.

My nan would open the door and I would step inside, and her dogs would jump up at me and do their best knock me over. I learned how to deal with dogs from that. What you have to do is put your hands up (so the dogs can see your hands and also so the dogs can't bite your fingers off). And then you start stroking the dogs, stroking the dogs on the head and on its back, stroking and stroking as if your life depends on it (which it probably does). And that's how you become friends with a dog.

My nan's dogs would then run around wildly as if they hadn't seen another human being for years. Finally my nan would lock them it the back garden, where they'd howl for attention.

This dog just now though, he didn't give me time to stroke him. Instead he just ran off. His owner is still shouting at him to come back.

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The money that I was waiting for from Amazon came into my account today and I immediately bought a supplement that's supposed to increase your testosterone levels. I don't know if it works. I read that in a study, it increased testosterone levels of men by 16%. I don't think it’d work on me though because 16% of zero is still zero.

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I spent the morning working on my book about Canada, the working title was an idiot in Canada. Now, the working title is a virgin in Canada, because the book's become about how I lost my virginity in Canada.

I told Girlfriend about my new book title and she doesn't like it. But then again, what does she know? The last time she read a book, I think actually, I don't think she ever has read a book come to think of it. She prefers playing Candy Crush.

*****

I've gone from doing zero exercise to doing exercise almost every day. I started a few months ago when I joined a gym. Unlike most of my other decisions in life, this decision has actually been a good one. I can feel the improvements in my body from going to the gym. My stomach has got flatter. Now, I still don't have a six pack or even a one pack but you know, there's still time, there's still time. I'm only in my thirties. I can still woo the ladies.

And by doing exercise every day, I feel a difference in my mood as well. Like, if you don't do exercise, then it's like a tax on your mood. You get depressed and angry quicker. People were designed to need exercise. It's one of the basic things I reckon, along with water, food and films about Marvel superheroes. It's something that everybody needs.