Dear Diary. I have €6.92 in my bank account. All my other money is in shares.

This means I can only buy things that costs €6.92 or less. This includes:

• 692 penny sweets (actually slightly fewer after converting my euros to pennies)
• a night of passion with Trevor McDonald
• a knockoff Monopoly board game called Funopoly where some of the pieces are missing

At least, that's until I receive my next paycheck. Although my paycheck isn't actually a paycheck, it's just a payment from Amazon Kindle for selling books on Amazon.

Hopefully it'll come in the next day or so.

And Girlfriend's asking me for to put more money into our joint account. I already put the €700 in she asked for. Now she wants more. We need to pay for the shower door, you see, which is going to cost another €700, just for a piece of glass. And then we're gonna have to buy furniture as well from IKEA soon.

The spending never stops. Not unless I kill myself, which I might do if I have to play Funopoly with Trevor McDonald.