Dear Diary. We've been living in the new apartment for ten days now.

Last night, I was woken up by people on the street talking. The time on Girlfriend's alarm clock read 1 am. I'm sure there was a kid down there as well because I heard a child's voice say, "Mommy".

After that I couldn't get back to sleep until 5:30 am. So I was awake for four and a half hours. I just couldn't get back to sleep.

Maybe it was because Girlfriend had both the sheet and the blanket and I had nothing. Just my underpants.

I was getting pretty cold so I got up and fetched a sheet from the spare bedroom. It was a completely green sheet that I use as a greenscreen for making films, But that night, I used it as a makeshift blanket.

I fell asleep, and before I knew it 3-year-old was saying "Wake up Daddy" and it was morning. I wanted him to go away so I could sleep a bit more but, in the end, I had to get up.

Girlfriend asked what the green sheet was doing on the bed.

"I was using it as a blanket," I said.

"Put it away," she said. "It doesn't belong on the bed."

*****

I did a dance class today at the gym and I was the only man there. I was hoping that the women would all be sexy, attractive, supermodels but sadly I was the only one like that. The one next to me was short and fat and I kept nearly bumping into her.

I was bloody useless at the class, which is no surprise given that I have no skill at dancing nor do I enjoy hip hop music. Thankfully, no one paid much attention to me. Otherwise, they would have thought I was a man with a learning disability who had escaped from a coach trip.

After the class, I saw loads of hot girls going into a body combat class. So that's the class I should have done.

*****

Before going to bed, I took a double dose of melatonin, bringing the total dose to 3.8 mg. So we'll see if that helps me sleep.

The last time I took high doses of melatonin was a few years ago. It had a side-effect where I had vivid dreams that I couldn't wake up from. Every time I thought I'd woken up, I was actually still dreaming. It was scary at the time, but if it happens tonight, then I'll just whip out my dick during the dream and start masturbating.