The shit blog of Paul Chris Jones

Toy Story sequel ideas

25th May 2020 Paul Chris Jones

Toy Story 5: The Toys are Back in Town

The toys hold a press conference and reveal to the world that they are alive. Cue people screaming and shrieking as all the toys across the world get up and start walking around. Eventually, people get used to toys being alive, and it’s just another thing, like climate change and Donald Trump‘s hair. Woody gets his own talk show called "Woody's World", where he interviews toys and celebrities. He gets eaten by a crocodile when Steve Irwin‘s son comes on the show, but his fans are relieved that he is okay, just a bit smelly after having passed through a crocodile's intestines. Jesse leads a radical "Toys have rights" group that tries to get toys the same rights as people. Jesse suceeeds, and in the first presidential electional where toys are allowed to participate, Buzz Lightyear runs as US president, and is elected in a landslide victory because toys outnumber people 1,000 to 1.

Toy Story Six: A Brief History of Space and Toys

Toy Story six is set at the end of the universe. The only living things left already are Woody, Buzz, and some of the less popular toys, like Mr. Potato Head and Slinky. They watch the universe blink out of existence, like a tiny fire going out. “At least we still have each other,” says Rex, who I forgot to mention is there too. They link arms and form a circle as a way to comfort one another. Then a voice booms out from nowhere and everywhere: the voice of God. “Woody... Buzz... You other toys. Congratulations on surviving round one. As a prize, I will make you real.” God then transforms the toys into people. Woody becomes a real cowboy. Buzz turns into a real spaceman, which is what he always wanted. Slinky becomes a real dog, and Rex is a real T. rex. Mr. Potato Head gets the short end of the stick because he transforms into a potato. “Now...,” booms the voice of God. “Time for round two.” God makes a new universe and a new Earth. Woody, Buzz and the other toys now live in a Garden of Eden.

Toy Story 7: Toy Meets World

The descendants of the original toys have re-populated the planet. The toys have to figure out how to form a society. One of Woody's sons, Buddy, wants to rule the planet with an iron fist. The toys go to war, with Woody's forces of good on one side and Buddy's forces of evil on the other. In the end, good prevails, and Buddy is launched into space to spend the rest of his life in exile.

Boy Story

Toy Story prequel, which explains what happened to Andy’s dad. And his dad was a drunk, an alcoholic, and he used to beat up his mum. But he also gave Andy his Woody doll, which Andy’s dad stole from the toy factory where he worked as a forklift operator. He got fired from his job because he was drunk while driving the forklift. One night, Andy’s toys came to life to protect Andy, and they pushed Andy’s dad down the stairs and killed him. The toys covered it up to make it look like a horrific forklift accident.

Toy Story 8: Buzz to the Future

Woody and Buzz travel back in time to 1992 for shits and giggles. They accidentally kill their original counterparts, and they have to take their place to avoid changing the course of history. Things take a turn for the worse when Buzz shoots Sid with his laser, which is now real, and it blows Sid’s head off. The toys are relieved to discover that killing Sid does not affect the space-time continuum because no one cares that Sid is dead.

Toy Story 9: Boy Story

Boy Story is set in a frightening alternate universe where giant toys play with people. A group of people, led by a boy called Andy, try to escape their captor, Woody.

The Toy in the Striped Pyjamas

This drama relates the horror of one of Zurg’s extermination camps through the eyes of a Jewish toy (a dredel).

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Paul Chris Jones is a writer and dad living in Girona, Spain. You can follow Paul on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter.