9:20 AM

I injected myself just now. 50 mg (just under 200 mL). This time I remembered to clean the site with alcohol. I injected myself in my belly fat, below and to the right of my belly button. It hurt but the needle went in easier than last time. When I pulled the needle out, I was bleeding. Not a lot, but enough to worry me. I didn't bleed the first time I injected myself, but I did bleed the second time, which is when the wound got infected.

I held some toilet paper against the wound to stop the bleeding. Probably not the best thing to use as toilet paper isn't sterile. Next time I'll have to use some sterile dressing instead.

Also, I just realised I forgot to wash my hands. I'm supposed to wash my hands before everything else. Fuck sake.

3:15 PM

About half an hour ago I started feeling slight pain at the injection site. There's some redness too. Fuck sake. Fuck, fuck sake. Seems I'm having the same reaction as the last injection.

9:40 PM

The place I injected myself this morning really Christing hurts. This isn't normal. I know this isn't normal because if all subcutaneous injections hurt like this, then no one would do them.

That said, I did do a Bodycombat class this evening so the pain can't be that bad. Actually, there's only pain if I apply pressure to the injection site. Or if I bend down. Or if I sit down too quickly. Lots of things really.

I picked up my kid today from school and there was a scary moment when one of his friends, Bruna, ran up to me and I thought she was going to run and hug me, or even punch me. Luckily she didn't. But if she had hugged me, or punched me in the injection site, I can't imagine the level of pain I'd have been in. I probably would have fallen to the ground, clutching my abdomen and crying.

I reckon I have a sensitivity or allergy to the oil. Because I just watched a YouTube video where a doctor explains how to do the injection, and right at the end, he says:

If you notice if there's any redness, swelling, discomfort, or itching, or if a knot forms the day after you do the injection or even a couple of days later, you should always let your physician know. Sometimes there can be a sensitivity or allergy to the oil that the medicine is floated in and physicians can change the formulations so that it's more agreeable for you.

That's me! Redness, swelling, and discomfort. And there's a knot just under the skin at the site of the second injection. (That knot will probably be there for the rest of my life now, knowing my luck.)

I've decided: I won't inject myself with any more of this brand of testosterone. I need to switch to another brand or start taking cream instead.