Sport was important at school. Quick reactions, eye-hand coordination, and spatial awareness were unfortunately all things I sorely lacked. I sucked at sport. I was about 7 years old when I took part in a swimming "race".  There were adults in the pool who supported our arms while we kicked. As the adults walked backwards, it gave the illusion that we were actually swimming! I didn't even win that.

Picking teams was an exercise in humiliation for me. I was usually picked last, or second-to-last, despite having a more athletic build than my classmates (which was only because I started puberty earlier).  I played football almost every lunch break for two years straight, and I never once scored a single goal. They kept putting me in goal, which was a stupid idea. I let in so many goals that I was quickly demoted from even doing that. In cricket, I couldn't hit the ball with the bat. I sure as hell couldn't throw the ball far enough to be the bowler. I joined a ju-jitsu class at university, but even there I only scraped through. My highlight was accidentally giving an innocent girl a nosebleed.

The only game I did like was rugby. I couldn't catch the ball, but I was fast and good at tackling. I liked the physicality of it, the mud, rain and crashing into other people. A schoolfriend asked another friend, "Are there any sports Petey is good at?" It was common that I was talked about as if I wasn't there. "I'm good at rugby," I piped up. They agreed I was good at rugby.