Dear Diary. Today we went to see the Three Kings. You see, Spain doesn't have Santa, they have the Three Kings instead.

The Three Kings were supposed to be at a field. I was standing in the big empty field when I heard the bang of a drum. From out behind some trees came a procession of dancing people, strangely dressed in robes, hats, and capes. It was like a rave at Hogwarts. These were followed by a group of people wearing turbans and blackface. They were jumping about, banging drums and singing a song about the Three Kings from the story of the nativity.

The Three Kings arrived. The kids were getting excited. The kids were doing a conga in front of the black king (another man painted in blackface). It occurs to me that the Spanish have a good idea here. Instead of Santa, they have the Three Kings, effectively three Santas.

I'm not sure the blackface is a good idea though. This is 2024 after all, not 1924. Personally I don't mind the blackface but I wonder how long the tradition will last once outraged Twitter users get wind of it.

More and more spectators arrived. The field become full of people. I lost Girlfriend. I felt tired and weak. It was only when I got home later I discovered why: I had forgotten to take my hypothyroidism medication for three days in a row.

Anyway, I was wandering around trying to find Girlfriend, which was hard with a pushchair and all the people. Then the rain began. Umbrellas went up. I put up my hood. A woman shouted at me. "IS THAT YOUR UMBRELLA?" It was my umbrella. I had dropped it on the floor. The rain became torrential. I saw policemen talking to the parade organisers. The parade went underway anyway. People dressed as elves valiantly banged their rain-soaked drums. One of the elves slipped and got carried down the street by the force of the water, like a contestant on Takeshi's Castle. There was the boom of thunder. Lightning lit the sky. The floodgates of the sky opened like in the book of Genesis and we all got soaked. People screamed and ran for shelter. I walked home, getting drenched. 1-year-old was dry in the pushchair.

Back home, I looked out the window and saw a single elf hat floating past.

I hope the Three Kings will still visit my house tonight. I want presents.