Dear Diary. Normally I do aggressive exercise like Bodycombat classes or weightlifting. It's the only way I can release my copious amounts of anger before it spills out of me and I end up killing someone with a ukuele.

Unfortunately, I sprained my arm four weeks ago while indoor rock climbing, Therefore I've had to switch to more sedate forms of physical activity, such as walking.

In fact, at this moment, I'm out for a walk with my baby son, 0-year-old. And I've come across what can only be described as the best Christmas window display ever.

The window display mainly consists of snowglobes. Snowglobes, snowglobes and more snowglobes. But these aren't normal snowglobes. These are expensive, traditional snowglobes. The biggest snowglobe in the window costs over 300 euros. You get your money's worth though, as these are beautiful. I imagine they've been handcrafted by elves at the North Pole, while Santa whips the elves periodically to make the elves work harder. All the whipping has paid off because these snowglobes are lovely.

There are also the world's best Advent calendars. First, the pictures on the front are beautiful, traditional Christmas pictures of children giving each other piggyback rides in the snow and lugging home gigantic, wrapped presents. Second, there's none of that capitalist chocolate nonsense. You open a door and there's just a picture. A picture's all you get. And a picture's all you need.

Ask yourself, honestly: When you open the door of an Advent calendar, which would you want more?

1. A piece of cheap chocolate
2. A delightful picture of a little boy playing a merry tune on a tin pipe, while his dog dances on two legs in front of him

Fuck your chocolate. I'd choose that little boy, any day of the week. Including every day of the weeks in the run-up to Christmas.

I'd like to go inside the shop and see more, but there are five steps to go down and I can't risk carrying the pushchair down the steps with my fucked-up arm. So I'll just have to look through the window for now. For the moment I'm like an orphan on Christmas Eve, looking through the window of a toy shop and unable to buy anything.

0-year-old's still unable to talk. So he's about as smart as a Cadbury's Creme egg, or, if I'm being generous, a chimpanzee, as neither of those things can talk. He's currently chewing on a breadstick while sitting in the pushchair. He was complaining a few minutes ago and I didn't know what he wanted. It turned out he was cold, so I tucked him into his winter sleeping bag and now he's fine. I wish he would just learn to talk already because it would make things a lot easier.