Dear Diary. Girlfriend comes home from work. She looks out the window and says, "What's that?"

I look out the window too. "What's what?" I say.

"Over there," she says. "There's a message on the window opposite."

"Oh, yeah," I say. "I saw that earlier."

There's an apartment building opposite ours, and in one of the windows, there's a piece of paper with something written on it. I can't read it though because my eyesight is so bad.

"It probably says, 'Help me' or something," I say. "You know. Like there's a woman in there being held against her will. By an axe murderer."

Girlfriend squints at the sign. With her superior eyesight, she manages to read it: "Hello, neighbour who is always on the computer, handsome."

I blink. "Hang on - that's me!" I cry. "That's me! I'm always on the computer and I'm handsome. They're talking about me!"

I remember there are two university-age girls living in that apartment. They must think I'm handsome.

Girlfriend looks skeptical. "I think they're talking about the guy who lives next to us."

She has a point. We have a neighbour who's a guy in his 20s, and I have to admit, he is pretty cute. And he probably is always on the computer because he's using the apartment as his office.

But still, I desperately hold on to the belief that the sign is for me and that two teenage girls believe I am handsome.

This is the greatest day of my life. Two teenage girls have a crush on me. This is every man's dream.