I use AVG instead of Windows Defender. But I'm sick of AVG's endless updates, notications, and weird processes running in the background. So I uninstalled AVG today. Good riddance.

But then when I tried running Windows Defender again, I got this error message:

Windows defender has been turned off and isn't monitoring your computer. If you're using another app to check for malicious or unwanted software, use Action Center to check that app's status.

So I dutifully trotted off to the Action Centre (Control Panel > System and Security > Action Centre). When I tried to activate Windows Defender from here, my computer's System32 folder opened instead! Strange.

The problem even persisted after turning my computer off and on again. Super strange.

The solution was to run AVG Remover (click this link to go to the download page). AVG Remover a program that obliterates any incrusted leftover bits of AVG shit. The program itself is from AVG, so it should be trustworthy, but even so, it's pretty scary. The program demands a computer restart, and then after you login again, there's only a black screen and a cmd-style box. It reminds me of a hacker's computer from a film or TV show.

The trick at this point is to go against your instincts. Instead of panicking and frantically mashing keys in an attempt to stop Nigerians from looking at your porn folder, simply wait until the program's finished.

And Windows Defender works fine... for now.