I had a realisation just now of how small and insignificant my life is. I was reading Mark Twain, and he was describing a view from a mountain, that everything looked small: the lakes looked like puddles, towns looked like toys, and large distances seemed like nothing. Yet he knew that if he was travelling across those distances by foot, the distance would have seemed very long.

Just now I was looking at a map of Montreal. I frequently visit only a few small parts of it. And Montreal is just one city in Canada, and it's not even the most important city. And then Canada is just one country in the world, out of almost 200 countries. Hm.

It's like I run around and maybe I'll achieve nothing in my stupid little life, nothing of any significance. And everyone else who I meet is insignificant too, except to themselves and the people they know. Strangers may as well not exist. It's why friends are so important, I guess. They're people who see you as being important, out of the sea of nameless faces. Friends are just people you've randomly become acquainted with.

What am I doing with my life? What's my goal? I want to live in the US, you know. In Silicon Valley. In New England. I want to be an American citizen. But to do that I need an employable skill. Hm. I wonder if programming is a skill like that? I guess I need a company willing to sponsor me as well.

Tomorrow Girlfriend and I go to the border.