I know the most annoying sound in the world. No, it's not a crying baby or nails on a chalkboard. It's not even *insert most recent teen pop singer who everyone loves to hate*. No, it’s the notification tone on Samsung phones.

I will never forget when and where I first heard this atrocious five-note tune. I was on a West Midlands train two years ago when I heard a strange bird whistle. I turned to my brother and asked, "What's that sound?"

My brother grimly replied, "Samsung", then he went back to carving 'Kill Samsung' in the seat in front of him. As I pondered his curious response, I heard the whistle again. And again a few moments later. And it never ever stopped.

The sound is like the trigger phrase in the film The Manchurian Candidate. If you don’t know this film, then basically a shadowy organisation brainwashes soldiers and turns them into killing machines. The soldiers are programmed to automatically kill people whenever they hear a certain phrase. Samsung’s notification tone is like that because it makes me want to kill everyone whenever I hear it.

The problem is that it's too chirpy and happy. It's like having a bird in your pocket loudly whistle at you without warning. And it's played for any sort of notification. I think nowadays we get our priorities wrong. Our phones give us notifications for any inane message. It's distracting, and furthermore, it’s inconsiderate to everyone else. Maybe the default setting should give the user a small electric shock instead?

According to the Guardian, the culprit is a composer named Joong-sam Yun. The Guardian also says Joong-sam tried to make the tone "innovative", "friendly" and "trustworthy". What I find amazing is that he managed to do the complete opposite, by making it "irritating", "idiotic" and "migraine-inducing" instead. He even gave his monstrosity a name: Over the Horizon. What kind of a name is that? What's a horizon got to do with anything? Admittedly, I do want to run away over the horizon when I hear it. Well, I've got a more accurate name: "Fucking Annoying Whistle".