Drinking game for English teachers of French students
Take a shot every time the student
- says "a good English"
- says "sometime"
- says "he learn me" (instead of he taught me)
- says "he say me" (instead of he told me)
- mispronounces thought, though, tough or through
- forgets an S at the end of a verb, for example "he want" and "she like".
Take two shots every time the student
- forgets to pronounce the H at the beginning of a word, such as "ee az" instead of "he has". Take a bonus shot if, after correcting the student, they begin to pronounce hour with a H, even though they never did before.
- inexplicably adds a H to words beginning with a vowel (e.g. pronounces add as "had")
- overpronounces the H to such an extent that it looks like they're having an asthma attack
Finish your drink every time the student
- adds an unnecessary syllable to a word ending in -ed, such as saying "stop-ped" instead of "stopped" and "walk-ked" instead of "walked"
- inadvertently swears by mispronouncing sheet as "shit" or beach as "bitch"
- uses must, may and shall instead of modern equivalents have to, can and will, sounding like a Victorian headmaster ("I must practice my English" or "May I have a pen?")
- always translates the French pronoun on to "we", causing them to say things like "We can say that?" instead of "You can say that?"
Bang your head on the table repeatedly every time the student
- looks perplexed when you explain that il y a means both there is and ago. In fact, they seem to have never seen the word ago before. You spend so long explaining ago to them you get jamais vu and begin to doubt it's an actual word.
- forgets to pluralise nouns, and says things like "two pen" and "many student".
Keep drinking until you find yourself in hospital when the student
- pronounces comfortable as though there's a table at the end
- says something like "I live in Montreal since 2 years". Then you spend 30 minutes explaining the present perfect to them, but next time they forget, and breezily say something like "I work here since 1 week". It is no good. Give up. Go home.
- forgets to pronounce the H at the beginning of a word, such as "ee az" instead of "he has". Take a bonus shot if, after correcting the student, they begin to pronounce hour with a H, even though they never did before.
- inexplicably adds a H to words beginning with a vowel (e.g. pronounces add as "had")
- overpronounces the H to such an extent that it looks like they're having an asthma attack
Finish your drink every time the student
- adds an unnecessary syllable to a word ending in -ed, such as saying "stop-ped" instead of "stopped" and "walk-ked" instead of "walked"
- inadvertently swears by mispronouncing sheet as "shit" or beach as "bitch"
- uses must, may and shall instead of modern equivalents have to, can and will, sounding like a Victorian headmaster ("I must practice my English" or "May I have a pen?")
- always translates the French pronoun on to "we", causing them to say things like "We can say that?" instead of "You can say that?"
Bang your head on the table repeatedly every time the student
- looks perplexed when you explain that il y a means both there is and ago. In fact, they seem to have never seen the word ago before. You spend so long explaining ago to them you get jamais vu and begin to doubt it's an actual word.
- forgets to pluralise nouns, and says things like "two pen" and "many student".
Keep drinking until you find yourself in hospital when the student
- pronounces comfortable as though there's a table at the end
- says something like "I live in Montreal since 2 years". Then you spend 30 minutes explaining the present perfect to them, but next time they forget, and breezily say something like "I work here since 1 week". It is no good. Give up. Go home.
- looks perplexed when you explain that il y a means both there is and ago. In fact, they seem to have never seen the word ago before. You spend so long explaining ago to them you get jamais vu and begin to doubt it's an actual word.
- forgets to pluralise nouns, and says things like "two pen" and "many student".
Keep drinking until you find yourself in hospital when the student
- pronounces comfortable as though there's a table at the end
- says something like "I live in Montreal since 2 years". Then you spend 30 minutes explaining the present perfect to them, but next time they forget, and breezily say something like "I work here since 1 week". It is no good. Give up. Go home.
Leave a comment