The shit blog of Paul Chris Jones

The West Midlands has its own slang, just like any other part of the world. Most of the slang I learned came from my mother, who had a strong Brummie accent.

Here are a few words whose usage I believe is confined mainly to Birmingham and the West Midlands.

bab Noun. Term of endearment used mainly by working class women over the age of 40. Typical professions include dinnerladies, waitresses and post office clerks: "Orright bab?" "Jawanna cuppa tea bab?" "Just put it on d'scale fer me bab." ORIGIN baby

babby Noun. A newborn or recently born child: "D'babby's blartin' agen." ORIGIN baby

blart Verb. To cry: "Stop yer blarting or I'll giv yer summat t'cry about."

cob Noun, A circular bread roll: "Jawanna cob wi' cheese un?" ORIGIN the shape of a cob resembles a cobblestone, such as those found on cobblestoned streets.

ee-arr Phrase. To draw attention to something: "Ee-arr bab, I've found yer glasses." "Ee-arr bab, yer cob wi' cheese un." ORIGIN here you are

entry Noun. An alleyway between two terraced houses that leads to the back garden: "Ee-arr, will ya 'elp me take these slabs through the entry?"

gambol Noun. A forward roll: "In P.E. today we learned t'do a gambol." Verb. To do such a roll: "I gamboled right into the P.E. teacher an I couldden stop larfin."

jawanna Phrase. Would you care for a?: "That'll be one pound please. Jawanna bag?" ORIGIN do you want a

Mom Noun. A female parent: "Mommmmm, om mungry... whaddaya got tweet?" "Mom" is common in the West Midlands and the United States, whereas "Mum" or "Mam" (capital letter optional?) is the norm in the rest of the UK, as well as Australia and New Zealand. 'Mum' sounds horribly middle-class and pretentious to me, whereas 'Mam' sounds like the wife of an Irish potato farmer during a famine.

scrage Noun. A scratched cut, typically from falling over: "Stop yer blartin', it's just a scrage." "He's only gun en scraged the bloody car." Verb. To produce such a cut: "I fell over an' scraged me knee." ORIGIN scratch

the outdoor Noun. An establishment selling sealed bottles of alcohol beverages that are consumed off the premises: "Jawanna goo down t'outdoor t'get sum beer?" Similar to a corner shop (i.e. a newsagents) except an outdoor is licensed to sell alcohol. My local outdoor had an air of impending menace and danger. The clientele were generally poor and a bit shifty. My local corner shop, on the other hand, seemed joyful and welcoming. My siblings and I called it "the goody bag shop", on account of them selling goody bags containing sweets, puzzles and small toys for £1. Meanwhile, my parents called it "the Paki shop".

tara a bit Phrase. See you later: "Tara a bit, bab."

town Noun.Birmingham city centre: "Jawanna goo inta town fer a bit?"

tuff Noun.A bonelike structure found in the jaws of most vertebrates:

"Ow, me tuff hurts." "Don't forget yet tuffbrush." "Moooooooooom, there's no more tuffpaste." ORIGIN tooth. My brother only recently found out about his atypical pronunciation of "tooth" when he went to University and met middle-class people.