Dear Diary. I still have mouth pain. I made a dentist appointment for next Friday. I asked for a general revision. I don't see the need to book an emergency appointment. I still feel like I can solve my gum infection on my own.

Then I went to the pharmacy and bought more interdental brushes, but smaller ones, so they don't rip up my gums so much. I went home and took out one of the interdental brushes from the packet. I dug the interdental brush into a hole behind my back bottom-left molar, where the pain was. The brush went in deep. I felt the familiar pain and pleasure. I knew this was the infected spot. I dug around some more. I pulled the brush out and it was tinted with blood. There was no food or pus or anything. Just blood. If I had pulled out food at least I would have felt like I had achieved something. Instead there was only blood. I rinsed the blood off under the tap.

Afterwards my mouth was throbbing. I felt like crying. I felt helpless, like a child. Whenever I have a problem I solve it myself. But no matter what I do, my tooth isn't getting better.

I imagine the appointment on Friday. I imagined the dentist sighing, shaking her head, and saying, "That tooth will have to come out."