The shit blog of Paul Chris Jones

Dear Diary. It's 12:40 at night. Girlfriend has irresponsibly gone gallavanting about Girona on a christmas party with her colleagues and left me at home looking after the kids. 1-year-old woke up half an hour ago and he's wide awake, sitting on my lap and watching music videos on my laptop. Did I mention it's 12:40 at night. We're watching "The Shy Lion" by El Pot Petit. He's showing no signs of getting tired. Meanwhile my eyes are feeling heavy. I would sleep but the problem with being a parent is that you can't sleep when your children are awake. Your children are allowed to sleep when you're awake, but not the other way around. Otherwise your children might do something stupid like drink bleach or invest in a Ponzi scheme.

Now it's 12:45 AM. A few days ago it was 6-year-old's birthday by the way. One of his presents was a flying orb ball. It's a ball that flies in the air when you throw it. 6-year-old threw the ball in the living room and the ball immediately fell to the ground and scuttered off down the corridor like a wild animal.

Other presents 6-year-old got for his birthday were a new scooter (his old scooter has three wheels, this new scooter has two wheels), some comic books, and a Kracie Hamburger Popin' Cookin' Kit set, where all the instructions are in Japanese. You make your own burger, fries, and coke out of unknown substances. We haven't tried it yet.

Now it's 12:50 AM. Girlfriend's still not home. I wonder if I should send out a search party. 1-year-old's still on my lap, watching the screen hyponotised. Now his fingers are in his mouth. Occassionally he softly says "raw" like a roar of a lion.

By the way, the back of my iPhone has cracked again. I only got it repaired last week. The repair cost 120 euro and just a few days later I broke my phone again. This time I dropped my phone on the kitchen floor and it cracked. My phone was in a shockproof case supposed to protect it from falls. The Amazon page says the case has passed a United States Military Standard 8ft drop test but I don't believe this is true. The case can't even pass a 2-foot kitchen floor test. I took my phone back to the repair shop and asked if they could repair the back of the phone again, but for free this time, as it was still under warranty from the last repair. The man shook his head. The warranty doesn't cover idiots dropping their phones apparently.

Now it's 1 AM. By the way, I've been working hard this week. I've worked 4 hours every day. You may laugh at me but usually I work only 1 or 2 hours a day and I fill the rest of my day with garbage like writing this diary.

It's now 1:05 am. Girlfriend's STILL not home, if you can believe it. 1-year-old's watched the same music video six times. At least, I think it's six times. I've lost count.

I call Girlfriend to find out when she's coming home. But she doesn't pick up the phone. Her phone must be on silent. She always has her phone on silent. What use is a phone if it doesn't ring? It's like having a pen that doesn't write.

Finally Girlfriend comes home, at 1:30 AM. I can go to bed.