And then it was Christmas
Dear Diary. The Christmas lights were turned on in my town today. Big cubes covered in LEDs, hanging above the street. The council have hung two of these cubes right outside my bedroom window. There's one red one and one blue one. If I get bored I can always shimmy across the cable Mission Impossible style and steal some of the lights for my apartment.
Today's Black Friday. I bought a Christmas tree on Amazon today with the Black Friday Sale. We threw our old Christmas tree out because it was too big and it was broken. It broke after two years, the top of tree became crooked. Every year I'd try to fix the tree using an ingenious mix of blu-tac, glue, and elastic bands but nothing ever worked, it still abstinently remained crooked, so we chucked it. Ironic that we're being told to plant new trees to save the environment and instead I'm harming the environment by throwing a plastic tree into a landfill.
My bum's itchy. It's sore from doing giant poos that I have to force out my bum because I don't eat enough fibre. I've already switched to wholemeal bread and I'm running out of ways to eat more fibre. I'll soon switch to a diet of nothing but sawdust.
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