Dear Diary. I lost my diary three weeks ago. Today I went inside the local police station to see if someone had found my diary on the street and handed it in. This was my first ever visit to a police station. I imagined a bustling hive of activity, with the sounds of ringing phones, radio chatter, and the occasional scream from an angry murderer wrapped in chains in a holding cell at the back of the station. I imagined officers brutally slamming suspected terrorists into desks and detectives huddled around photos connected by red string. But it wasn't like that. It was more like a typical office, with a water cooler in the corner and people mindlessly clicking mice at computers.

Anyway, the police didn't have my diary. So I guess my diary is lost forever, like the missing Doctor Who episodes and the books in the Library of Alexandria.

In other news, I'm scared of ChatGPT taking my job. I make exam practice books for a living. And a few days ago I noticed someone published a book like mine - one of the same exams - and I think it was written by an AI. The blurb on the back of the book sounds like something ChatGPT would write. I can see a future where people are using AI to make hundreds of books like mine, and my books are lost among the competition, and my income drops to zero. At that point, I don't know what I'd do. I'm 36 years old with two kids and no skills. I'd struggle to find another job. I can't even juggle so I couldn't even become a street clown. Plus I'm living in Spain and I can't speak Spanish well, so I wouldn't even be able to get a job working in a supermarket.

I almost became a millionaire a couple of years ago. That is not a joke; it's true. My friends Joe and Tom told me to buy cryptocurrencies called Ocean and Quant. So I bought some Ocean and Quant but then sold it a few months later for the same price at which I'd bought it. Then a year later, both Ocean and Quant skyrocketed 7,000 times in value. By that point, I'd already sold it, but if I'd held on to it, I'd have three million euros right now. I think about this every day.

But on the plus side, my constipation has gone away for the time being. I've been eating as much fibre as possible. Yesterday I ate half a baguette made from whole wheat bread.