The shit blog of Paul Chris Jones

Dear Diary. I didn't sleep too well last night. I slept in the small bedroom on an air bed, while Girlfriend, Youngest Son and Oldest Son slept on a proper bed in the second biggest bedroom. I woke up after about four hours, got back to sleep again for another half an hour, and then just didn't feel sleepy anymore.

I remembered I hadn't taken my sleeping pills to help me sleep, plus my testosterone, which also helps me sleep, but it was all in the suitcases, and there was no way for me to find it at five o'clock in the morning. Instead, I went downstairs and did some stretches in the bathroom while everyone was asleep. My left lower back is really tight. I have to stretch that out.

My brother Adam and his girlfriend Emma got up at 6 AM. I got my laptop out and was ready to do some work or some writing, but then Girlfriend came down with baby Youngest Son and handed him to me. Kastuir went back upstairs to go back to sleep.

Adam and Emma went out to work. Emma's working in Wolverhampton today, Adam's working in Solihull.They start at eight o'clock, but Girlfriend has to set out at six to get there on time. She's working in Wolverhampton today. She's applying that she works somewhere else.

At 7 AM, I was wandering around the streets of Erdington, bleary-eyed, sleep-deprived with Youngest Son strapped in a sling on my chest. The council have put up a sign that says, "Fill your neighbourhood with friendliness" in an attempt to brainwash the citizens of Erdington into being kinder to one another. Someone's written on the sign with a red marker so it says, "Fill your neighbourhood with NO friendliness instead", which makes me laugh out loud.

I entered Rookery Park. My sister Lisa says it's dangerous, but I don't believe her. This morning, at 7 AM, it's really a wonderful place. Yellow leaves fall constantly from the trees as if on a loop. There's the sound of the gentle rustle of leaves in the wind. There's the cooing of pigeons hidden in the trees, and also the odd caw of a crow. From far away, there is the gentle roar of traffic.

Playful squirrels dart about hither and thither. Two squirrels are running around a tree. One is chasing the other, like the Disney film Merlin.

And there's so much green in all different shades. The grass is thick, like an expensive shaggy green carpet. It's slightly wet from the rain. After coming from Spain, this park looks incredibly rich and lush. I'm standing in the middle of the field of grass and it gives me a bit of vertigo, makes me feel like I'm in danger of falling. Because in Girona we don't have such big open spaces, it's a city of apartment blocks.

Some of the grass is a green that's almost blue. Perhaps a trick of the early morning light, or perhaps a mutation in the grass caused by the illegal dumping of hazardous waste onto Erdington's park areas.

The park is almost empty, there's just one man walking his dog, and a fat young woman sitting on a bench. I walk through a cloud of midges dancing in the dawn light. There's a sign that says, "Hello. Unfortunately, this park needs a deep clean. Local councillors advise people to wait until this is done before using the park. Friends of Brookerby Park and House."

Deep clean? What, like a carpet? The park's not that bad. There is some litter lying around and one of the tennis courts are missing the tennis nets. How bad must a park be if they recommend don't going inside because it needs a deep clean? Maybe someone really did spill toxic waste.

***

Now it's afternoon and I'm taking a box of Christmas decorations to one of the charity shops in Erdington when I pass by a house with four kids in the front garden. They wave as I walk past.

"Hi!" says one of them in a friendly tone.

It's a bit strange because normally the youths in Erdington glower at me. These ones seem nice. They look surprisingly cheerful for kids growing up in Erdington. Bright eyes and smiles. I stop.

"You don't want a box of Christmas decorations, do you?" I say

They look at me as though I'm weird.

I gesture to the box and say, "I was just as I was taking these to the charity shop, because we don't want them. And you wouldn't want them, would you?"

One of the kids, a little girl, says, "Yeah!" And runs down the path. I put the box down on the ground and open it.

And there's Santa, baubles, and tinsel. The kids' faces light up.

"Oh, wow!" they say.

"Oh yeah, if you want them, they're all yours."

A kid with glasses says, "Well I guess it saves you a trip to Erdington."

"Yeah. It's a win-win."

The kids are genuinely happy. They are a nice group of kids. Then I walk away. I turn and take one last look at that box. It's full of decorations that we've lovingly collected over the past 35 years, ever since I was a boy. There be about £100 worth of stuff in there.