Dear Diary. Yesterday I injected myself with testosterone. My body seems to handle it. Testosterone cypionate, it's called. So far I've had no rash or swelling so that's good.

In the past, I tried a different testosterone, testosterone enanthate, but this gave me a painful red lump at the site of the injection, so I stopped taking it.

I've also been using testosterone gel for almost three months now. The gel works well and it doesn't give me a rash or anything. I take three packets of gel a day, which is probably too much, but oh well.

I did a blood test recently. My free testosterone level is 39.4 pg/mL, which is just at the top of the normal range (the normal range is 8.3 - 40.1 pg/mL). Five months ago, before I started taking testosterone, my free testosterone level was only 7.1 pg/mL, so my free testosterone is now five times higher than it was before. There is a downside, however - my testicles have shrunk quite a bit. I felt them today and thought, "That's odd. There's one missing." But no, there wasn't one testicle missing. It was that the two testicles are now the size of just one testicle. Still though: who cares about testicles?

By the way, 4-year-old woke up at 6:30 am, which is too early. Even God's not awake that early. The sky was still dark blue. It wasn't even proper morning yet. But I had to get up too, to look after him. At 6:30 am! Maybe it wouldn't be so bad except I had to get up twice during the night to change 0-year-old's nappy, so my sleep was interrupted. Strangely though, I didn't feel tired today. I attribute this to the testosterone - it must help me sleep better during the night. Thank Christ for the testosterone. Without it, I'd be severely sleep-deprived. It'd be mental and physical torture.

I spoke to my sister Lisa today. She looks tired and depressed. This is no surprise as she has a six-month-old baby. Even worse, the baby has eczema and Lisa's awake at night trying to stop the baby from scratching.

I told Lisa not to have a baby, but did she listen? Listen she did not. Not listen she did. Did listen not she. She didn't listen, alright?? Now she has a baby and she knows firsthand the horrific, soul-destroying torture it is. If only people would listen to me then the world would be a much better place and there would be much less suffering. There would be fewer babies for a start.

I could offer Lisa some testosterone to help her sleep, but before you know it, she'd have a deep, masculine voice and a full beard. Probably not what she wants.