Dear Diary. It's 7 am and I'm asleep. 3-year-old climbs into my bed and starts hitting me with his fists.

"Daddy, wake up," he says.

He's hitting me in my back quite hard. As hard as a three-year-old can hit, anyway. Which is surprisingly hard.

"Daa-dee, wake up."

I let a few grunts and a few half-formed words. "No, no," I moan.

It's not very polite of him, is it? To come into my bed and start hitting me. I mean, I don't go into his bed in the morning and hit him.