The shit blog of Paul Chris Jones

Dear Diary. Seven years ago I bought a 20 g bag of mephedrone on the internet. I've only used it three times. The reason I haven't used it more often is that I'm keeping it at my dad's house, and I only visit my dad once a year or so.

Well, I'm staying at my dad's house now, and this afternoon, I decided to do mephedrone again, since everyone was out.

I've been keeping the bag of mephedrone in my dad's loft. My dad has no idea there's a class B drug hidden in his loft. Maybe it's better he doesn't know.

So I went up to the loft, got the bag of white powder, took it downstairs and snorted a small pile of it.

The effect was instantaneous. I suddenly felt alert and awake. I marched straight out the front door.

I decided to go to the local shopping centre, which was just a ten minutes walk away. It's called The Fort. And of all the shit, boring places I went to while on drugs, this shopping centre was the worst. It was just a bunch of shops and a few people walking around. I walked around by myself, eyes wide and breathing hard, looking for something to do. But there was nothing to do.

So I went to Starbucks for a cup of tea.

"Could I have a green tea please?" I asked, in a tiny, mouse-like voice. For some reason, the mephedrone had made my mouse quiet.

The barista looked at me in pity and kindness. She probably thought I was a mentally-disturbed man who had been let free on day release from the local care home.

I sat down and drank my green tea. The mephedrone high had already worn off by this point. Now the anxiety and paranoia were kicking in.

So I started headed home. But on the way, I spontaneously decided to stop at my nan's house. I was feeling depressed and I thought it would be nice to see her smiling face and hear her friendly voice.

It was a mistake though. My nan was there but so was one of my cousins, Charlotte.

"It's Paul!" cried Charlotte. "How have you been?"

Now I was in trouble. My cousin would see my wide eyes, grinding teeth and nervous behaviour to know I was on drugs. I knew I had to get out of there.

"Good, thanks," I said. "Oh- OH! I've just remembered, I've left the oven on."

"You've done what?" said my nan, who was hard of hearing.

"He says he's left the oven on," said Charlotte.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," I said. "Let me just go turn it off and I'll be right back."

"Oh, what are you like!" said Charlotte, smiling.

My hastily-made excuse worked. I got out of there before either my cousin or my nan noticed I was on drugs.

I went back home. I didn't return to my nan's house. It was too dangerous. Besides, next I had a Skype meeting with one of my work clients. Fortunately, we didn’t use microphones or WebCams. We just typed messages to one another. But my hands were shaking and it was difficult to type. I measured my heart rate and it was over 100 beats per minute. Occasionally the beating would slow down for a moment, which was scary. I put a blanket over myself to try to stop the shaking. I managed to get through the meeting without seeming weird.

After this I went back to the shopping centre again because I didn't want my dad or sister to see me like that when they got home. So I sat on a bench outside the public toilet. I sat there for half an hour until security came and I got paranoid and walked on.

I called Girlfriend and told her what I did. It was a relief to tell someone. Then I decided I would go home and tell my sister and dad. That decision was a relief.

On the way home, I really needed a piss, so I hid behind a bush and let go this massive torrent of urine that lasted about two minutes. As I was emptying my bladder, I saw woman approaching. But the piss was so strong that I couldn't stop, I had no choice but to carry on urinating. I looked up and made eye contact with her. She knew I was taking a piss. But she looked embarassed and kept walking.

When my sister got home, she found me sitting in the bedroom next to the window.

"Are you okay, Paul?" she said.

"I've got something to tell you. I took some drugs."

"What?"

"I took some drugs earlier today. It's called mephedrone."

"What?"

I had to explain again. Then I had to go downstairs and explain it to my dad.

My dad was angry. But what annoyed him most was that he had booked cinema tickets for that night and now I didn't want to go.

I flushed the rest of the mephedrone away down the toilet.