The shit blog of Paul Chris Jones

Dear Diary. Mephedrone is illegal in the UK. It's a class B drug. The maximum penalty for possessing mephedrone is five years in prison.

I have 20 grams of this stuff hidden in my dad's loft.

My family was out today so I saw it as an opportunity to use the mephedrone. I've only ever used it once before, three years ago. It was quite an experience. While on the drug, I got my hair cut, reserved a library book, and drank a cup of tea in a cafe, none of which sounds that exciting. Though I did also shoplift sunglasses and scrape my car on a concrete pillar.

And today I decided to do it again. So I got the mephedrone from the loft, tipped out around a gram, mixed it with water, and drank it.

"Do you make the baskets yourself?" I asked.

"Yes, well, my wife and I do. We started a few years ago and we've been making them ever since. We have a few traditional basket styles and a few special styles. They're all made by us, with a few simple hand tools."

"How do you make them?" I asked.

"Well, you start with a bundle of willow shoots. You can use reed or grass, but willow baskets are more sturdy, so we prefer willow. Then you just start weaving, basically. It's really quite fun and relaxing. I compare it to meditation."

"How many baskets do you make in a day?"

"I'm sorry," he said, "but are you actually considering buying something?"

"No," I admitted.

He nodded. I went on my way.

Next, I found a stall selling anime figures. A nerdy-looking guy was working there.

I stood next to his stall for five minutes, feeling increasingly devoid of emotion.

Finally, I said to the nerdy man, "So, do you like anime?" in a monotone, emotionless voice.

The man looked at me. Then he made the shape of an L with his fingers and put it to his forehead. L for loser.

I'd been called a loser by a nerd. If this were a playground, then I'd have been at the very bottom rung of the school's popularity ladder, just beneath the kid who draws Nazi swastikas in his school planner.

Anyway, eventually the mephedrone wore off and I went home.

I had to conclude the mephedrone wasn't so fun this time around.